i want a boy damnit.

i want a boy thats gonna love me as much as stuart did.

i want a boy thats not gonna give a shit about the unimportant stuff like stuart did

i want a boy thats gonna do what he wants

and what he wants is gonna include me

i want to be wanted.

i want to be happy for kelly finally having a boy who’ll treat her right. i just wish it wasn’t stuart.

i want to be done with this already. i want to stop continually going back and remembering. i want to have different fresno memories. different airport memories. different cooking memories. different window memories. different driving memories. different fingers on my right hand. different ice cream memories. different funny stories to tell.

and i really don’t want kelly to go on that cruise to ensenada. probably nothing i can do about that one tho.

whelp. the truth is out. i guess i’m not quite as okay as i thought. and i told her.

next step. get over all these emotions, so i don’t pull a becca on kelly. 1) don’t get involved in her relationship with him. 2) don’t be friends with him outside of her. 3) don’t make her feel bad about her relationship with stuart. 4) don’t talk dirty with her about my relationship with him. 5) don’t require innocent late night hanging out from him as a antidote to a stupid decision 6)don’t enter in abusive relationship to escape jealousy issues. 7)don’t be there for him after they break up. don’t …

i think i can handle it.